Multiple Sclerosis Centers of Excellence
Courage to Cry, Strength to Carry On
June Hamilton -- Multnomah County, OR (interview by Carin Waslo)
“Don’t cry over spilled milk,” said June’s original Neurologist around the time of her MS diagnosis — and she burst out laughing! Not a soft chuckle, but full, uncontrollable laughter, with tears streaming down her face. Because not long before, that’s exactly what she had done. Still grappling with a new MS diagnosis, recovering from her first MS relapse, and unable to walk, June scooted down her house stairs on her backside, one slow step at a time, to pour herself a glass of milk. She held it carefully, concentrating on every movement, but despite all her effort, the glass slipped from her hands, spilling milk across the kitchen floor. Overwhelmed and exhausted, June broke down and cried over that spilled milk.
At only 24 years old, a newlywed, and having recently concluded a three-year military career serving as an U.S. Army recruiter, June was diagnosed with MS. Her first MS attack occurred in 1979, not long after starting her first civilian job. One moment she was bending down to pick up a bag from the floor; the next, she went numb from the neck down, electric shocks coursing through her entire body. Within weeks, after being referred to a civilian Neurologist, June received her diagnosis along with some harsh words: “You won't work anymore. Your disease is your job. Your work life is gone. It's over.” He also told her that she didn’t have a long lifespan.
At first, June felt numb. That first year was very difficult. She was in a lot of pain, both physically and emotionally, which indeed left her unable to work. Gradually, with the support of her husband, family, and some very good friends, June began to reimagine what she wanted her life with MS to look like. She started learning how to strike the balance between knowing when to slow down and when to keep pushing herself. It wasn’t the exact future she had planned, but she was determined to shape it on her own terms. Rather than resign herself to a grim prognosis, she insisted to herself: “I am going to prove the doctor wrong, plain and simple.”
And she did. With support from the GI Bill, June went back to school and earned a degree in computer science, followed by a successful 30-year career. After connecting to the VA health care system, she worked closely with her VA providers to find methods of working around her limitations. She developed a great relationship with her VA Portland MS team. While service connection is not a requirement for VA care, June was able to establish service connection for her MS because her MS symptoms started within 7 years of military service. Through VA-covered acupuncture and chiropractic care, June was eventually able manage her persistent and significant pain. She overcame bouts of depression with medications provided by the VA. She adapted her home for wheelchair accessibility with a grant from the VA Specially Adapted Housing (SAH) program which assists Veterans in building, remodeling, or purchasing homes that meet their adaptive needs. June has also participated in VA clinical trials, contributing to ongoing research, with the hope of making life easier for other “MSers”.
June encourages other “MSers” to use the resources that are available to them. “If you got to use a cane, use a cane. If you need an electric chair, use an electric chair,” she says. Her message is clear: “Never give up. Keep trying to go one more step…but you have to also give yourself rest… And when you need to, it’s okay to cry over spilled milk.”
