Milstead Woman’s Humble Home Became a Refuge for Nearly 100 Veterans

Born to Bennie and Verdell Tolbert in a simple wood-frame house without electricity or indoor plumbing, she learned early that true warmth came not from wires or walls, but from the people around her.

As an only child in Shorter, Alabama, a community in Macon County, Washington grew up surrounded by the steady wisdom of older folks. Her days were filled with the simple joys of rural life. Mornings began with the crow of roosters, not the flick of a switch. Her family relied on kerosene lamps to chase away evening shadows, their soft glow illuminating shared stories and meals cooked over a wood stove. The backyard outhouse was a humble necessity, a short walk through the yard, no matter the weather, teaching her resilience in ways that modern comforts could never match.

“We didn’t have much, but we had love and respect,” Washington said. “We learned how to live right with very little.”

She recalls those years without panic or complaint, just the steady pace of country living, where children played outside until dusk, exploring creeks and fields instead of screens. Raised among elders who shared tales of harder times, she absorbed values that prized hard work, kindness, and making do with what was at hand. It was a childhood rooted in tradition, where community meant everything and self-reliance was a daily lesson.

Electricity arrived when she was 14, a single lightbulb marking a quiet shift toward the future. Yet those formative years without electricity shaped her deeply, fostering a humility that would guide her through marriage, motherhood, and a calling to serve Veterans. That foundation, shaped by humility and service, prepared her for a lifelong calling: caring for Veterans through the Department of Veterans Affairs Community Residential Care program.

The CRC program is a VA-supported partnership that allows eligible Veterans to live in private homes rather than institutional settings when they cannot live independently. The program offers stable housing and supportive care in a family-like environment. Sponsors like Washington open their homes and hearts to Veterans who need daily support in a non-medical setting.

Washington was educated in the Macon County public school system and graduated from Prairie Farm High School. After graduation, she met and married James Washington at age 19. To this union, five children were born: Mable, Twana, Carl, James (deceased), and Leslie (deceased). Today, she has 19 grandchildren and 38 great-grandchildren, whom she says “mean a whole lot” to her.

Before becoming a CRC sponsor, Washington worked as a seamstress in a local sewing factory. After long shifts, she often visited older community members, many of whom cared for Veterans in their homes. It was during those visits that she learned about the CRC program.

“I saw what they were doing, and I thought, maybe I can do that too,” she said.
With guidance from former social workers at the Tuskegee VA Campus, Washington applied and was approved to become a licensed CRC sponsor. On June 1, 1975, at the age of 34 and raising five children, all under the age of 12, Washington officially opened her home to her first Veteran.

“It let me stay home and be there for my kids when they got off the bus,” she said. “But it also gave me a way to care for someone who served this country.”
Being a mother influenced her decision, as it allowed her to be present for her young family.

Washington estimates that nearly 100 Veterans have called her house a home since that first day, mostly men, but some women as well. Some stayed a few months, while one stayed more than 34 1/2 years. He was her very first Veteran, who had lived with no one else before coming to her. She has never treated it as a job, and she recently lost one Veteran she cared for, who passed away at age 61 about two months ago.

“You treat people how you want to be treated,” she said. “That’s what I’ve always believed.”

Her motto: “To care for people as you would want to be cared for.”

Her caregiving approach is rooted in compassion, consistency, and faith. While much has changed for her over the years, she notes that “a whole lot has changed,” but the essence of taking care remains the same. She cooks what Veterans like, from collard greens and cornbread to stews and Sunday favorites, or really “anything they want.” She provides daily structure, companionship, and a peaceful place to live.

“My Veterans were part of the family,” she said. “They were never outsiders.” She raised her own children in that same environment, sharing meals, stories, and space with those who had served, and notes she “never had a major problem.” 

“My kids grew up knowing how to care for people,” she said. “That shaped them.”

Washington also helped grow the program. Over the years, she has guided at least five or six new CRC sponsors through the process, encouraging them to open their homes to Veterans in need. Her advice to aspiring sponsors: “Help the people.”

Her service has always been grounded in faith. A longtime member of Divine Bethel Baptist Church, Washington relates that she loves helping people. She is currently a member of the gospel group, The Spiritual Awakeners, and often held worship services and singing in her living room when health challenges kept her from attending in person.

“We had church right here in the house,” she said. “And my Veterans were right there with me,” getting exposed to gospel singing.

Today, the 84-year-old Washington still cares for one Veteran in her home. When asked if she plans to stop, she offers a quiet smile.

“I’m not tired yet,” she said, expressing pride in her ongoing service and determination to continue as long as she can.

Washington has never asked for recognition, but her impact is undeniable. In a health care system that often speaks of honoring service, she has lived it for 50 years.
She did not just open her door. She opened her life.

And for nearly 100 Veterans, that made all the difference.