'You did as much as anybody else': Advocating for female Veterans

“My feeling was, ‘Why should I take up someone else’s space?’” she said.

But after beating breast cancer, having a tumor removed and losing over 100 pounds with the help of the Milwaukee VA, she has some advice for her fellow female Veterans: You’ve earned it, you deserve it, and it’s the best care anywhere.

“You did as much as anybody else,” she often tells female Veterans. “There is no reason why you have to feel that you are not entitled to this.”

Dr. Amy Farkas, the women’s health medical director for the Milwaukee VA, agreed.

“We know women are less likely to identify as Veterans and less likely to seek out VA services because they don’t feel like it’s for them,” she said.

“We provide better care than outside of the VA,” Farkas said, noting that VA spearheaded the idea of women’s health care. “We offer comprehensive, primary care to women. 

“They can talk to us about their mammograms and their diabetes. We can talk to them about reproductive health plans and their migraine headaches. And we can do that all together.”

That care will get a boost this fall when the new women’s health clinic opens at the Milwaukee VA. 

“I think it will be a real opportunity to expand the offerings we have to our women,” Farkas said. “Ensuring that women maintain full access to health care is important. We’re working to make sure the women’s health space is a clinical space where we can provide high-quality care to women.”

Bayless’ experience with her care at the Milwaukee VA supports Farkas’ statements. And she bristles at Veterans who believe VA care is lesser care.

“I love the care here,” she said. “At other hospitals, you’re treated like you’re a number. Here, they treat you like a person, like an individual. The doctors take the time to listen to you. 

“I always tell my son I should get a tattoo on the front of my head: ‘If I’m unconscious, take me to the VA.’”

And now Bayless is doing her part to give back to the Milwaukee VA, serving as a volunteer and helping her comrades in arms any way she can.

Coming to VA

Bayless, 69, served two years in the U.S. Army in the mid-1970s, working as a finance specialist at Fort Knox. She left the service after getting pregnant, but went on to a career in financial service, working at various hospitals in the Milwaukee area.

With steady employment and private insurance, she didn’t consider seeking VA health care until her partner, an Air Force Veteran, enrolled.

Then, in 2011, Bayless was diagnosed with breast cancer and quickly learned that her private insurance was “crappy,” she said. “I ended up emptying out my 401K to pay for my out-of-pocket expenses. That’s when I started coming (to the Milwaukee VA).”

Her ongoing treatments lasted for five years, and she has nothing but praise for the VA doctors who helped her through it.

As her treatment drew to a close, Dr. Sarah Nickoloff encouraged Bayless to enroll in a research study for prediabetic women.

“I was very overweight,” she said, noting she was 237 pounds. The study required her to make changes to her diet and take part in weekly online sessions. She lost 65 pounds while on the study and was able to keep it off.

“It was not hard. It just involved changing my way of eating,” she said. “They explained everything about why you need to eat (certain foods). It wasn’t that big of a deal to just change the way I was eating.”

Tumor removal

Then, about 10 years ago, she discovered something in her cheek. She mentioned the growth during one of her check-in sessions with Nickoloff, who quickly got her to a specialist.

“That’s the nice thing about the VA; they can put in your orders and you can go and have it done. You don’t have to wait two weeks and make another appointment,” she said.

A biopsy revealed that the mass was a tumor, and part of the tumor had wrapped around her eye muscles.

The surgery to remove the tumor took more than five hours — “They ended up cutting open the whole side of my face,” she said — but was successful.

Losing more weight

More recently, Bayless has been one of Farkas’ patients. During one of their appointments about two years ago, Farkas said Bayless could take off some more weight — and relieve pressure on her joints — through medication.

“I was on it for nine months and lost another 42 pounds,” Bayless said, noting that beside her regular appointments with Farkas, she also met with a dietitian, pharmacist and life coach.

“I had a whole team, and I could call anybody I needed to,” she said. “I feel a lot better. I’m now a size 10; I’ve never worn a size 10 before.

“It’s easier not having the weight. When I look back on pictures of how big I was … I’m grateful that Dr. Farkas talked me into that.”

Farkas said she is equally grateful for Bayless, noting that she is both an ideal patient and an advocate for VA women’s health.

“I appreciate that Sharon is so well connected with VA,” Farkas said. “She is an example of how women Veterans can engage with VA in a successful way. I’m so happy to see her out and about ‘advertising’ VA care for women.”

Giving back

Bayless began volunteering at the Milwaukee VA about three years ago, driven not only by the care she has received, but also the care her partner, Dick Matt, received after he was diagnosed with inoperable stage four lung cancer.

Matt was also enrolled in a cancer drug study, and because of it, he lived for four years. Without the medications, he probably would have died within weeks of his diagnosis, Bayless said.

“When Dick was here, I would come and visit him and play games with everyone,” she said. “Some people had nobody (who would visit them). So I told myself that when I retire, I was going to start volunteering.”

While she volunteers primarily in the Spinal Cord Injury/Disorder Center, she also visits with Veterans in the Community Living Center, becoming a valued cribbage partner for at least one Veteran.

And sometimes she simply provides a friendly listening ear.

“It’s nice to get to hear them,” she said. “Sometimes they want to tell you their stories, and sometimes they don’t. And even then, you can see the grateful look on their faces.

“I like to be involved with the guys. I love volunteering here. This has become a second home for me.

“I need a purpose in life, and this is my purpose,” she said. “I’m giving back some of what I got. I like giving back to an organization that’s given so much to me.”