Lake outing aids Veterans' recovery, strengthens bonds with Milwaukee VA staff

“This is amazing,” said U.S. Air Force Veteran Nicholas Oakley, gazing out at Pike Lake. “Everybody’s laughing and smiling and having a great time. This gives us a chance to all be together.”

Oakley was one of about 50 Veterans, along with about 20 staffers from the Milwaukee VA, who got a change of scenery during the outing last week to Pike Lake State Park. Located near Hartford, Wisconsin, the park is about 34 miles northwest of Milwaukee.

Under sunny skies on a nearly perfect day, the Veterans and staff enjoyed a cookout along with various games, including volleyball, cornhole and others. They could also hike the park trails or simply relax and chat with their fellow Veterans and staffers.

Making a connection

According to Milwaukee VA psychologist Dr. Stephen Melka, part of the team that oversees the residential rehabilitation treatment program at the Domiciliary, the outing allows Veterans and staff to connect on a different level, which often leads to breaking down barriers and advancing the Veterans’ treatment needs.

“It helps people communicate and talk about difficult issues,” he said, noting that it’s not unusual for Veterans and staffers to take hikes together, where the conversations can be beneficial.

“We’re relating by walking through nature, as opposed to sitting in a therapy room. There’s something about that shared journey that opens people up, gets them talking and creates a connection that can be there for future treatment.

“They get to know each other in this informal way, so they feel more comfortable talking about some things that they had a harder time opening up about.”

Many Veterans in the program are overcoming substance abuse, Melka said, and the outing shows them they can have fun without the need for alcohol or drugs. It also benefits Veterans struggling with isolation or depression.

“Coming out here and doing things together, as a group, shows the benefits of community and socialization,” he said. “Regardless of if it’s addiction, depression or anxiety, a hallmark of all of those is isolation and disconnection from other people. … Part of getting better is connecting with others.”

'A brighter future'

That was especially true for Oakley, who said he had become isolated and was in a downward spiral with alcohol before entering the Dom about seven weeks before the outing.

“I needed this today,” he said. “We’re all friends, and it’s nice to be outside in this beautiful setting.”

Growing up in a military family, he was accustomed to a mission-driven lifestyle, so when he was medically discharged from the military, he struggled to integrate into civilian life. 

“On the outside, it’s much different,” he said. “The rules are different, and the culture is different.”

This led to problems holding down a job and being out in public. He turned to alcohol to cope, which only deepened his troubles.

But the Domiciliary has helped him immensely, he said.

“The Dom is one of the best places I’ve ever been,” he said. “It took me out of a bad environment and gave me a lot of opportunities, which are starting to happen. The Dom is helping me find my purpose. I’m looking forward to a brighter future.”

Also enjoying the day — and celebrating five weeks of sobriety — was U.S. Army Veteran Ted Kulas.

“Today is great,” said Kulas. “It’s wonderful to get out here on such a nice day. It’s showing me that I don’t need to be high; I don’t need drugs. I can be sober and still have a great time.

“This is the best I’ve felt in two years. My mind’s clear, and I’m starting to love myself again.”

Figuring things out together

The outings started about eight years ago, and Melka said they are a priority, serving as a morale boost for staff and a valuable team-building exercise.

In the days after the outing, Melka said he notices a difference back at the Domiciliary and during therapy sessions.

“There’s a camaraderie that wasn’t there before,” he said. “It just bolsters things and is very helpful.”

He admitted that the relationship between Veterans and staff in the Dom can sometimes feel like a student-teacher relationship. The outings help to change that into a shared journey.

“We’re all just trying to figure out life together, and things like this really model that,” he said.