'Like a big family': Domiciliary residents, staff celebrate successes and bond during annual lake outing

The 70-year-old had a huge smile on his face as he thought about the permanent home he will soon occupy in the Veterans Village in Green Bay. (It is currently under construction.) 

Plagued by bouts of homelessness, alcoholism, depression, anxiety and isolation for most of his life, Grosshuesch gives credit to the VA’s Domiciliary program for helping him reach this major milestone.

“The Dom is a blessing,” he said. “I’ll never have to go on the streets again.”

Grosshuesch credits the Domiciliary for making him more self-aware, which has improved his coping skills, interpersonal relationships and self-esteem.

“The coolest thing now is being aware and focused on what’s in front of me,” he said. “I’ve had a horrible past — I had a hard time coping with life itself — and I’ve never had hope. … Something always goes wrong. There have been times when I wanted to give up.

“But with the Dom … I have hope. I’ve felt joy inside me like I have never felt before. It’s hard to describe, but it feels so good. I feel so happy, and I have that hope.”

‘The power of community’

Grosshuesch was one of about 56 Veterans enrolled in the Domiciliary who took part in the outing June 4. With sunny skies and temperatures in the mid-70s, the Veterans as well as Domiciliary staffers spent the day playing games, taking hikes, enjoying a cookout and socializing in a much different setting than the structured Domiciliary program.

Veterans come to the Domiciliary to overcome addiction, depression and a variety of other ailments that have had severe negative impacts on their lives, often leading to isolation.

The lake outing “is the antithesis” of isolation, said VA psychologist Dr. Stephen Melka, who oversees the Domiciliary program; it helps bring the Veterans together and strengthen their interpersonal skills.

“This is an opportunity for them to see that they can do these things sober,” he said. “They can see the power of community and being engaged when it comes to their recovery.”

Jay Foskett, a licensed practical nurse who has worked in the Domiciliary for about 10 years, said the annual outing is “very therapeutic for everybody, staff as well as Veterans.”

“Getting out of the institutional setting and into an environment like (creates) more of a relaxation mentality,” he said. “And it gives everyone a chance to bond.”

‘A big family’

U.S. Army Veteran Phoenix Oltmanns agreed.

“It’s really beautiful out here,” he said. “I feel like I’m part of a big family.”

And that’s a feeling Oltmanns hasn’t had for a while.

As a transgender man undergoing medical conversion, the 28-year-old has grappled with homelessness, depression, mood swings and fraught relationships with family and friends. 

Oltmanns entered the Army as a female, serving three years before discharging in 2022. He left on his own, stating, “It wasn’t for me.” However, leaving behind life in the military sent him into a tailspin.

“It was a trainwreck,” he said. “I went from a structured environment where I knew what to do to just not really having a job, barely having a place to live and not being able to get my head in the game.”

He balked at seeking help from VA because he felt he didn’t deserve it, saying he believed it was only for combat Veterans. 

Getting help

But his friends finally convinced him. And when he showed up at the VA clinic in Marquette, Michigan, he was met with open arms.

“I was so scared. I thought they would treat me like I was still in the military. But they were very nice … and walked me through the whole process. They immediately started to help me.”

That eventually led him to the Domiciliary, which he entered in mid-May.

“I told them I was trans, and they immediately said, ‘What do you need?’ and put me in the guys’ wing,” he said. “Everybody treats me like a guy.”

Though he entered the Domiciliary with little more than the clothes on his back, fellow residents came to his aid, offering clothes, a phone charger and anything else he needed.

“For me, that was a huge freaking deal. They all treated me like one of the guys, and everybody’s been really cool.”

Gaining confidence

He said the programming at the Domiciliary has helped him learn to be a “functioning adult” by teaching him self-confidence and how to read and control his emotions.

“When I first got here, I could barely look at people. Now I’m walking up to people in the cafeteria and sitting with them. I’m more confident.”

After graduating from the Domiciliary, he hopes to enroll in programs to help him get a job and a home of his own.

He admitted that the future is unknown. “But I just need to take it one step at a time every day. I feel like if I look at it in a good way, then things will turn out good. I’m trying to be optimistic.”