How hospice care inspired Lilly Blum to serve at VA
By Steffany Lingad, Public Affairs Specialist
Long before she worked in hospice care at VA, Lilly Blum had already rebuilt her life once. Originally trained in mechanical engineering in China, Lilly moved to the United States and, with her husband’s encouragement, returned to school.
She earned her nursing degree from San Francisco State University and began her second career as a registered nurse.
But it was not her education alone that shaped the nurse she would become. It was loss.
In 2016, her husband’s health declined rapidly after his cancer returned. After years of receiving care through VA, he was admitted to inpatient hospice in early June of that year.
For Lilly, the experience felt entirely different from working as a nurse.
“I was here, and it felt different,” she said. “I was the family member. That is different than being a nurse working on the floor.”
At the time, Lilly was working night shifts at a skilled nursing facility. During the day, she managed medical appointments and caregiving responsibilities.
“I worked the night shift, and in the daytime, I came to VA Palo Alto to take care of him,” she said. “The hard part for me was the doctor appointments. In one week, he would have five appointments.”
Living in the Santa Cruz Mountains made the routine even more exhausting. As his condition worsened, home care became too difficult to manage alone. He transitioned to inpatient hospice on June 4, 2016. Lilly took family leave and remained at his bedside until he passed away on June 22.
What she experienced during those weeks stayed with her.
“The hospice unit really took care of him,” she said. “The social workers, psychologist, doctors, the nursing staff, and the chaplain, they all talked to me, and they gave me a lot of support.”
For the first time, she saw care not as a provider, but as a spouse. The support extended beyond her husband’s medical care. The team checked in with her, talked with her, and made sure she did not feel alone.
After her husband’s passing, that support continued through grief groups offered by the hospice team. As she reflected on the experience, Lilly began comparing it to other health care settings she had worked in.
“This is a better place,” she said. “Here, there is much more support for the families and for the patients.”
Two months after her husband’s death, Lilly applied to work at VA. She joined the hospice unit in January 2017. Today, she brings both professional skill and personal experience into every room she enters.
“It’s not just taking care of the patient,” she said. “It’s also taking care of the family.”
When families are overwhelmed or frustrated, she understands the emotion behind it.
“Sometimes when I see the struggle, and I share my experience, that my husband passed away here, they feel close to me,” she said. “They want to talk to me. It becomes calmer. I can feel it.”
Hospice work is not easy. Loss is part of the work. There are days that are hard. But what makes the unit special is the way the team supports one another.
“That is the beautiful thing,” she said. “We support each other.”
For Lilly, returning to VA was about coming back to a place that supported her during one of the most difficult moments of her life, and offering that same support to others.