Veteran shares 'miracle' after help from VA program
If you asked former Air Force Officer Rebecca Erwin how she feels today, she’d tell you she feels at peace and full of joy. After serving her country for 17 years, she now spends most of her time in the Nashville area hiking, exploring, and volunteering with local organizations.
Before finding her inner peace though, Erwin was filled with hopelessness.
“I had been dealing with depression for several years, but finally sought treatment with the Pittsburgh VA in 2012 when it became so severe, I couldn’t manage it,” Erwin said. “While it greatly improved under the care of my therapist, the issues started creeping up again and again after my move to Florida. I was always able to take a hold of it and move on with my life – until I couldn’t.”
For almost 10 years, Erwin’s technique of bottling up her struggles worked - or so she thought. During that time, she used alcohol as her coping mechanism but only found herself even more isolated and in deeper despair. In the summer of 2021, she recalled a time when a friend recommended a rehabilitation program.
“I had a friend of mine who struggled with PTSD, and he was telling me about the RRTP program [Residential Rehabilitation Treatment Program] at the Murfreesboro VA,” Erwin said. “He said RRTP could help me, and he even gave me the brochure, but I told myself I wasn’t that far gone.”
After a few months, Erwin hit her breaking point in the fall of 2021.
“I surrendered,” she said. “I felt worthless, hopeless, and lifeless. I knew I could not live like this. [My depression and drinking] got to a point where I couldn’t do life anymore. I called the number on the brochure, which happened to be the Veterans Crisis Line.”
Erwin described how she mustered up the courage to seek help. She dialed the first five numbers of the Veterans Crisis Line and then tossed her phone aside. The next minute she entered six digits and walked away. Each time she picked up her phone, uncertainty and anxiety washed over her. When she finally completed the call and heard the Veterans Crisis Line responder’s voice, she immediately hung up.
“It took me almost an hour to make the call and actually talk with someone,” Erwin said. “Once I told them what I was dealing with, the Veterans Crisis Line and my VA health care team created a plan for me to get into RRTP at Murfreesboro.”
The next day Erwin bought a plane ticket to Nashville and never looked back.
“After I purchased my ticket, I was 100 percent committed. I was going to go into this with my heart and mind open, and I started just being very open with my problems,” she said. “
On November 2, the Air Force Veteran started her journey to recovery.
“When I found out I was starting on November 2, I thought, ‘How cool is this…it’s my birthday! If that’s not a sign, I don’t know what is,’” Erwin said.
Within the first few days, Erwin’s experience with the program and health care providers far exceeded her expectations.
“I finished the program in January, and I couldn’t be happier,” she said. “The way the program is structured brought in so many elements that really worked for me. The exposure to medical experts and the coping skills allowed me to look back on my past and how I reacted to things previously. It helped me discover new ways to approach my concerns. It gave me the strength and the tools to live my life how I dreamed of living it.”
Erwin encourages other Veterans who may be struggling that it’s okay to seek help and that no one is alone in their fight with addiction or depression.
“My goal was to experience and enjoy life without it being filtered with alcohol - to have an authentic life,” she said. “While I was in treatment, my daughter shared with me a quote she heard: ‘A good day is when everything is going good and you don’t drink. A great day is when everything is going bad and you don’t drink.’ I told her I wanted an awesome day - that no matter what was going on, the thought of drinking would never cross my mind. Now, every day is an awesome day. It’s a miracle that I’ve gotten here, and I have the utmost gratitude to RRTP for helping me when I could no longer help myself. The experience has literally given me a new lease on life.”