Milwaukee Veterans focus on transitioning their post-traumatic stress to growth

Not quite.

“It doesn’t go away,” she said. “The symptoms change, and you need to be prepared for those changes, to recognize your triggers. You can go months with everything going well, but it’s like juggling: If one ball slips out, everything else just kind of falls to pieces.”

LaVella Green has had a similar experience. It took years for her to seek treatment, and she knows that the work will be ongoing.
“I just take it one day at a time,” she said. “You have to learn how to take care of yourself. And that’s the hardest thing to do.”

While Donald and Green continue to work at their PTSD treatment, they have both improved dramatically and have entered what’s known as post-traumatic growth, something that can result from those with PTSD who are transformed and find a new mission as part of their treatment.

“It looks like this sort of deeper way of engaging with life and relationships around you,” said Milwaukee VA psychologist Cathy Coppolillo.

For some, the new mission they embrace is helping others conquer their PTSD. Others take on new hobbies, sports or artistic endeavors. And others may focus on being the best person they can be.

Those who do achieve post-traumatic growth typically are able to stare down a prevalent symptom of PTSD: avoidance. 

“It's a very human thing to pull back when stuff makes us anxious. But the people who are most likely to attain post-traumatic growth are folks who don't avoid: They stay engaged in relationships; they stay engaged in activities, even when they're not feeling like it,” Coppolillo said.

“There are people who take healthy risks, trying new things. And that's one of the ways people end up finding these new meaningful activities and relationships.”

Overcoming sexual trauma

Donald, 55, joined the U.S. Navy at age 17. During her service, she experienced three incidents of military sexual trauma from senior officers.

“That changes the way you view people and the world around you. These are people you’re supposed to be able to trust,” she said. “That spills into relationships and what not.”

Donald tried her best to deny the trauma and cover it up, fearing she would be kicked out of the military. But it was affecting her subconsciously. She was beset by guilt, shame and the loss of self-confidence and self-esteem.

That manifested itself in outbursts of anger or jumping to conclusions. There was also avoidance, as Donald would busy herself with small, unimportant activities in order to avoid bigger tasks.

“I would go from extreme perfectionism to procrastination,” she said. “The perfection thing wore me out, and the procrastination just made me depressed because I wasn’t getting anything done.”

This went on for more than 10 years until family started pushing her to seek help.
 
“I didn’t feel like anything was wrong … but it was more like something wasn’t right,” she said. “I was functioning just fine … but there was denial.” 

That led her to VA, where she benefited most from peer support. She found herself emulating the best parts of her peers, which ultimately helped her better channel her energies.

“You want to mimic those good work ethics,” she said. “You can take bits and pieces … and see what fits the person you want to become.”

Donald is now a peer support specialist, using her story to encourage others to figure out their best path forward. She helps with empathy training and is active with the Center for Leadership of African American Women, which helps women of color to overcome trauma.

“I feel like I’m making that difference I wanted to make years ago,” she said.
 
But she also recognizes her journey isn’t over.

“I’m still a work in progress,” she said. “I’m balancing better. … Because I’m aware of how things can fall apart, I’m better able to hold things up. I want to continue what’s going good.”

Denial, then growth

Green, 50, joined the Army National Guard right out of high school, viewing it as a way to avoid what she saw around her — too many teen mothers.

Serving for 24 years, she was a medic who was deployed to Iraq, where she experienced “a lot of stress … and craziness.”

She experienced severe illness in Iraq, along with memory problems, speech problems and pain. She was diagnosed with a vitamin B12 deficiency and needed a blood transfusion, to which she had an adverse reaction.

But like Donald, it was later determined that the crux of her PTSD was a sexual assault that took place while she was in the military. The perpetrator was never prosecuted, she said. 

And even when faced with the diagnosis, she denied it.

“I was seeing a social worker at the Vet Center, and she said, ‘You have PTSD.’ And I said, “No, I don’t. PTSD is for crazy people,’” she said, noting that she didn’t perceive the outward signs. “It’s hard to acknowledge something that has happened when your mind is telling you nothing happened.”

She was reluctant to seek help, distrustful of medical professionals because of what she experienced in Iraq. But she grudgingly relented and began meeting with Milwaukee VA psychologist Dr. Michael McBride.

After a year of sessions with McBride, Green came to accept her diagnosis and began her recovery journey. That has included learning to trust others and overcoming social anxiety.

She got involved with recreational therapy at the Milwaukee VA, including the photography club. She’s currently an intern with the Milwaukee VA Public Affairs office, shooting photos. She’s also pursuing her associate degree at Milwaukee Area Technical College and hopes to earn a bachelor’s degree from the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee.

“Photography got me out of the house,” she said, noting she takes advantage of the numerous outings offered by recreational therapy. “It helps me to socialize.”

While Green said she now “smiles a lot more,” she still holds some anger inside. But she’s working to move beyond it.

“If you acknowledge that you have PTSD, it helps, but I sometimes feel like I wouldn’t have PTSD if (the military) had just done what they were supposed to do,” she said. “I’m learning how to forgive, which helps to lessen the load.

“It takes so much energy to be angry at somebody, and not that much to be happy and just keep moving forward.”



Even though June's PTSD awareness campaign is ending, the effort to raise awareness never ends.
VA's National Center for PTSD works to support those experiencing trauma or PTSD-related symptoms. For more information and PTSD resources for Veterans, family members, and friends: https://www.ptsd.va.gov/