Filling a void: Camaraderie the key to Manitowoc County Vets group
Nobody understands Veterans as well as other Veterans.
The shared experiences of serving form bonds that span generations, long distances and branches of service. A Vietnam Veteran can meet an Afghanistan Veteran and immediately make a connection. That connection could lead to a variety of things, from invaluable advice and life guidance to a friendly gabfest of story swapping.
When Veterans come together, good things happen. And that was what drove U.S. Air Force Veteran Ashley Smits to establish the Manitowoc County Veterans group.
Formed in 2019, the group was borne from Smits’ desire to recreate the camaraderie she found in the military.
“I loved the military. I loved everything about it,” she said, noting she planned to put in 20 years but left after 10 due to family reasons. But becoming a civilian proved difficult.
“It was a hard transition. You go from being around people all the time — you work out with them, you eat with them, you hang out with them — to just being a civilian, where nobody cares what you do or when you do it.”
Looking to fill the void, Smits started with a Facebook group and a hangout — Jenn’s Java, a local coffee shop with a room where Vets could gather on a regular basis.
Three people showed up to the first meeting in September 2019. That was a bit discouraging for Smits, but she was determined to stick with it. In October, eight Veterans attended. And little by little, the group grew.
The monthly gatherings, which take place the fourth Tuesday of every month at Sharon S. Richardson Community Hospice, typically draw 15-25 Vets. There’s also a monthly Vets night out where Vets can bring spouses or significant others. In addition, there are special events, including outings, charitable events, meals, etc.
“It’s literally just a social group,” she said. “We just hang out and talk about whatever comes up. Sometimes it’s hard topics, like suicides or deployments. It’s a safe place where people can share that connection. Sometimes when they come back, they don’t feel like they can or want to share that with their family.”
The group boasts a wide range of ages — 19 to 83, Smits said. “It’s cool that we can all get together, talk and share,” she said.
The Facebook group, called Manitowoc County Veterans, boasts more than 600 members. It’s a private group, as Smits wants to keep it reserved for Veterans and those who support Veterans.
While Smits and others will share plans for outings and events on the Facebook site, it also serves as an outlet for Veterans to post funny memes, remembrances or anything else that rings true with Veterans.
Four years in, the group shows no signs of slowing down. Members recently gathered in Appleton and towed a jet airplane as a fundraiser for Old Glory Honor Flights, which take Veterans to Washington, D.C., to tour the various war memorials. The most recent flight, however, took Veterans of the Global War on Terrorism to New York City to tour 9/11 memorials.
There have also been picnics, hikes, museum outings, educational programs, bowling, sports, lunches and other Veteran-centric events.
The group is obviously filling a need, and its success has been humbling for Smits.
“It’s been really cool to see friendships form and to see Vets sharing stories or just listening,” she said, noting a goal of hers was to boost Veterans’ mental health.
“I don’t want them to seclude themselves and feel like they’re alone,” she said. “If you don’t want to be around civilians, come hang out with a bunch of Vets.”
Smits said Veterans who haven’t felt accepted in other places have found a welcoming home in the group.
“And that’s the goal of it,” she said. “It doesn’t matter if you’re young, old, male, female, were in combat or you weren’t. Every Vet raised their right hand and gave that oath to protect their country, and we want them to feel welcome. And I think people have been grateful for a place to meet friends and people who just get them.
“When I started this, I knew three Veterans in the county,” she said, saying her original intent was a group that would meet for an hour each month to share coffee and stories. “It’s become so much more. It’s been cool to see it grow.”