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Relationship Health and Safety

Healthy relationships enrich our lives in many ways. Whether building a family, standing together through tough times, or having fun, many aspire to share their life with a spouse or partner. Sometimes though, it can get tricky. You may be experiencing communication issues with a spouse and need some help problem-solving, or there may be anger and aggression issues in your relationship. Regardless of where you are, VA can help. (Please use "Quick Escape" links if the subject matter on this webpage causes any discomfort.)

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Support for your relationship:

Some couples need a “tune-up” to address conflicts or complex problems that inevitably arise. Below are some options to help couples be happier and healthier.

Couples counseling

  • Couples’ therapists help partners find the words and gain the skills to talk through complex issues. The therapist isn’t there to judge or referee your relationship but to listen and help you listen to and be heard by one another. At VA, licensed therapists can provide a variety of modalities to help couples improve their relationships.
  • Integrative Behavioral Couple Therapy is beneficial in high-conflict relationships. The primary goal of IBCT is to promote emotional acceptance, enhance communication, and build a secure emotional connection within the relationship.
  • Warrior to Soulmate can help partners reconnect with one another and their spirituality. The VA Chaplaincy’s PAIRS Warrior to Soul Mate (W2SM) program aims to quickly enhance wellness by strengthening Veterans' relationships with significant others. This intensive, evidence-based group training program focuses on building the key skills needed for healthy, happy, and resilient relationships. Link Warrior to Soul Mate (w2sm.com)
  • Strength at Home for Couples is a group where partners can interact with other couples to learn from one another and recognize that all couples struggle at one time or another. Learn more about one couple’s experience with Strength at Home.

Healthy Relationship Behavior Workbook (HRBW)

The workbook will help you and your partner explore the health of your relationship and gain new skills to improve it. You will have opportunities to reflect on your relationship and yourself. The HRBW is designed to be self-paced and Veteran-driven with the support of a clinician.

The Relationship Spectrum

Every relationship has areas of strengths and challenges. Relationship Spectrum helps you identify your relationship strengths and challenges. Relationship Spectrum chart

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Assistance with intimate partner violence

Sometimes, relationship conflict can be more severe than improving communication; it can even be dangerous. Research shows that Veteran families are at twice the risk for Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) than the general population.

Military family stress, deployments, the experience of trauma and health problems associated with serving can all contribute to increased levels of stress and conflict in a relationship. The Intimate Partner Violence Assistance Program provides services to those experiencing or using Intimate Partner Violence (IPV).

Services for IPV consist of individual counseling, group therapy, safety planning and providing additional resources for healing. IPV is defined as any aggressive behavior including, but not limited to, emotional or psychological aggression, physical or sexual violence or stalking. Learn more about the Intimate Partner Violence Assistance Program.

Strength at Home group intervention

  • Strength at Home is a 12-week group for Veterans struggling with anger and aggression in intimate relationships. The program focuses on helping Veterans understand how their own experiences and trauma can affect their communication style and ability to be in relationships with others.
  • This well-researched intervention is shown to reduce anger and aggression in relationships as well as symptoms of PTSD. Strength at Home is helpful to Veterans experiencing a range of issues. Whether you are concerned about how your anger impacts your relationship or if you are involved in the justice system because of IPV, you can find good information and answers in this group. Learn more about the Strength at Home program.

Recovering from IPV through Strengths and Empowerment (RISE)

  • RISE is an evidence-based, trauma-informed therapy program that helps Veterans who have experienced intimate partner violence (IPV) determine what are the best decisions for them. A therapist will support you in developing safety plans, improving coping strategies, learning more about the dynamics of IPV, and building your support system. This is a Veteran-guided process, so you determine what you need most and what you will work on first. RISE Program flyer for Veterans

Safety planning

A safety plan is a personalized, practical plan that includes ways to reduce risk while in a relationship, planning to leave, or after you leave.

Intimate partner violence (IPV) is a specific form of domestic violence that occurs between two adults and includes verbal, emotional, psychological or sexual harm (including stalking behavior) by a current or former partner.

IPV behaviors range from infrequent verbal abuse to patterns of frequent, severe battering, sexual assault or life-threatening abuse. If you feel that you or a loved one may be in a potentially violent relationship, planning for the safety of the person, children, pets and property is essential.

VA staff will support you to make the right decision for you. Staff will never insist that you go, make a report to the police or file a restraining order, but instead, they will help you think through all your options.

The below safety planning resources will help you think about things you can do to increase safety. For more information or assistance with safety planning, please get in touch with Barbara Archambeau (LCSW), Relationship Health and Safety Program Coordinator, at or connect with the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233), www.thehotline.org, or visit the www.myplanapp.org website for more info.

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Assistance with an experience of sexual violence

Courage group

Courage is a skills-based support group designed to help Veterans heal from the impact of sexual violence. Courage seeks to empower and support Veterans while connecting with other Veterans of the same gender. Specific details of traumatic experiences are not shared. Still, group members explore emotions, coping skills, and strategies for healing and moving forward. Courage Group Brochure

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Connect with our Intimate Partner Violence Assistance Program coordinator

Coordinators

Barbara Archambeau, LCSW
  Intimate Partner Violence Assistance Program Coordinator
  Relationship Health and Safety Program Coordinator
  Cheyenne VA Health Care System
  Pronouns: She/her/hers
  Mobile:
  Fax:


Michael Oberst, LCSW
  Relationship Health and Safety Program Lead
  Cheyenne VA Health Care System
  Pronouns: he/his/him
  Mobile:

If you have concerns, questions or want to learn more about Relationship Health and Safety or IPV resources, please talk to your primary care provider, who can refer you to a mental health specialist, such as a social worker or psychologist, and help connect you to support.

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Learn about upcoming Cheyenne VA Health Care System events

VACHCS Event calendar

 

Additional Resources

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Colorado

  • Estes Park, Estes Valley Crisis Advocates, Crisis number: (ask for an advocate), General phone number:
  • Fort Collins, Crossroads Safehouse, Crisis number: General phone number:
  • Greeley, A Woman’s Place, Crisis number: General phone number:
  • Greeley, Greeley Transitional House, Crisis number:
  • Greeley, SAVA Center (Sexual Assault), Crisis number:
  • Loveland, Alternatives to Violence, Crisis number: General phone number:
     

Nebraska

  • Gering, DOVES Program http://www.dovesprogram.com/, Crisis number: 866-95-DOVES or 1- General phone number:
  • Ogallala, Sandhills Crisis Intervention Program (SCIP), Crisis number: General phone number:
     

· Wyoming

  • Cheyenne, Laramie County Safehouse Services, Inc. www.wyomingsafehouse.org, Crisis number:
  • Laramie, SAFE Project, Crisis number: General phone number:

 

· National & State Organizations

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