Multiple Sclerosis Centers of Excellence
Relationships and Multiple Sclerosis: Improving Communication
Multiple sclerosis (MS) is unpredictable, and it can affect every part of life, including your relationship with a partner. It can change daily routines, shift who does what, and make communication harder. With a few simple skills, couples can build a stronger, more supportive relationship while managing MS - and many find the challenge brings them closer.
Talk Openly As Things Change
A good first step is talking honestly about how MS is affecting you both. One partner may change a work schedule for appointments while the other takes on more at home. As roles shift, open communication matters more than ever. Because MS often strikes during working years, money can be a source of stress too, so talk about finances and future planning so you both feel prepared.
Communication Tips for Couples
Make your relationship a priority. Schedule regular couple time, even a weekly date, to keep a positive foundation.
Be an active listener. Give your partner your full attention, let them finish, and reflect back what you heard: “So what I hear you saying is…”
Use “I” statements. Focus on how you feel rather than what your partner did or did not do: “I feel appreciated when you help with the groceries. Thank you.”
Keep balance. Set boundaries, spend time together that is not about caregiving, and ask for outside help when you need it.
When to Talk to Your Provider
If you and your partner want more support, help is available. Ask your local VA about couples or family counseling, and about the Warrior to Soul Mate program, which helps Veterans and their partners strengthen their relationships through skills training. A social worker can point you to the right resources.
Based on an article by Bethany Ferguson, MSW, LCSW-C, and Margaret Kazmierski, MSW, LCSW-C.
